Today there was a death that touched so many people. I met her several weeks ago. She was 28 years old, and for the last two years she fought a losing battle with breast cancer. She told the nurse one day that she had never been married or had children. Then she shrugged her shoulders and simply said "oh well." She was an ordained minister, and her dream was to be a missionary in Africa. She had two older sisters who now know they are at high risk for this devastating disease. Her mother tried so hard to be strong. She didn't want to cry in front of her daughter. The day the DNR was signed we all breathed a sigh of relief. That piece of paper allowed everyone to let her go in peace. This morning her battle ended.

Working in hospice is challenging sometimes. It is my job to get referrals and admit patients into our hospice. Sometimes I joke and say I hunt for dying people. The truth is we are all going to die one day. I make jokes to keep my sanity, everyone in this industry does. I pray to God that what the nurses, aides, social workers, chaplains, volunteers, and at the end the bereavement coordinator does makes a positive impact on the families that we are in contact with. You don't get do overs in this job. Death is final.

May weddings

The last weekend of May was very exciting! Brannon sent pictures of Robin's wedding and Becca's wedding. Seriously though two weddings in one day was not nice at all. Brannon and I spent like 5 hours in the car that day.

Melanie, Brannon & Cathy

Cathy & Brannon

Robin & John

Cathy & Melanie

Melanie & Becca

Who's on my shoulder

Think for a moment about Tom & Jerry... Remember the little angel and devil that would sit on their shoulders from time to time. Last week I am certain there was a devil sitting on my shoulder. Every day something happened that was out of the ordinary and very frustrating. I felt under attack with every decision I made. Praise God I made it through with only a few bad decisions and losing my temper on the real estate agent only once. Please say a prayer that the angel will take it's place on my shoulder this week.
In other news, my foot is better. I signed a contract on a new house. My little brother spent a week with me, and we had a lot of fun. I have amazing friends! Finally, I think I own the neediest cat in the world. Her fur has grown back without many gaps from her recent haircut.

Funny stuff

Ok I think I can laugh about this misfortune now. Wednesday I was working and was at an Assisted Living Facility. The Activities Director was pulling a resident backwards up a ramp leading into the building. About the time they reached the door the plastic grips came off the handles of the wheelchair. The resident zoomed down the ramp headed straight for me. I had no time to move and was concerned with the safety of the resident. I reached out to try to stop the chair and in the process my foot was run over. Ok it was much funnier if you were there.

Long story short, I had to file a workman's comp claim for being run over by a wheelchair. Now I have to be in the office doing stupid office work.

God works in mysterious ways

There is quite a bit to catch up on. Yes it has been a month since the last time my heart was broken. I however, am doing surprisingly well. I picked myself up and kept right on going. Several things have happened to help me see this for the blessing it is.
The first was the message at church the Sunday night after we broke up. It was from Genesis 41:51,52 Jacobs sons were born and named. The first he named Manasseh and said "It is because God has made me forget all my trouble and all my father's house." As I thought about this verse, I realized that as relationships have come and gone I have forgotten the pain of the previous breakup. The second son he named Ephraim and said "It is because God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering. This is so true! God has always brought me to even greater things than I could ask for. I fully trust that God will heal my broken heart and bless me more abundantly than I can even imagine.
The second reason for me dealing with this so well is due to an e-mail from a wonderful professor. She pointed out how I was always the one making sacrifices. She also helped me to see that his love had all these conditions put on it. I do have health issues and I need and deserve someone who can love me when I am active and when I am hurting. I deserve someone who can take responsibility for his feelings without blaming me for him feeling a certain way.
The best thing that has happened is finding a loving wonderful church. The people there have taken me in their arms and loved me! One lady particularly, Vita she has been wonderful. The church is full of so many people who have blessed my life in the month I have been going there.
Yes after one month i am ok. I have great friends, a loving family, and a fantastic church!

This month has been hectic. I moved the last weekend of Feb. I love my new job. I am happy to be back in Montgomery. I went to Dallas last week for sales training. Josh broke up with me last night. Yep it has been a crazy month and I am ready for April.

Things I stole from Cathy

1. Your Porn Star Name (name of first pet + street you live on): Ramboo Lee
2. Your Movie Star Name (Grandad's/Grandma's first name + favorite snack): Mildred Gardetto
3. Your Fashion Designer Name (first thing you see on your left + favorite restaurant name): Cup McDonalds
4. Your Fly Girl/Guy Name (1st initial + 1st 3 letters of your last name): M Smi
5. Your Detective Name (high school mascot + high school name): Rebels George W Long
6. Your Soap Opera Name (middle name + city where you were born): Melanie Skipperville
7. Your Opposite Sex Name (name of sibling/parent [opposite sex] + cell phone company you use): Michael Verizon
8. Your Star Wars Name (1st 3 letters of your last name + last 3 letters of mother's maiden name): Smi Yes

Ok so mine isn't nearly as good as Cathy's. This next thing is fun though. http://kevan.org/johari?name=Melaniens
I need to pack now or I will be in TROUBLE in the morning.

Moving...

Good news: Found a place to live
Bad news: packing... again

Moving has got to be like the worst thing in the world for me. To pack up all of my things and the animals and myself and move somewhere else and get settled is simply no fun. This move I don't even have my family to help. Thank God for Josh otherwise I would be in a mess. I have the best boyfriend in the world. All of my shortcomings seem to be his strongest qualities. Even if I do drive him crazy from my lack of planning and my overall calm appearance. Just remember, appearance isn't always an accurate representation of what is going on inside a person's mind. Calm is definitely not in my mind.

Feb 25th deadline

So, I showed my house to this nice couple today and they called back a few hours later. That is right they liked the house (and why wouldn't they I did pick it out) so they move in Feb 25th. I don't have much time to get out and find another place. Yikes I might be homeless!

3 hour commute

Someone remind me, did I hate driving last year. The place where I work keeps office hours form 8-7 so people work different shifts. Now that is all fine and dandy except the people I ride with in the morning all come in at 8 and the people I ride with in the afternoon com in around 9. That means I am there from 7:50-5:40 preceded and followed by a 90min commute.

The 24 hour breakdown is like this
5:00 am wake up and get dressed
6:30 am leave for work
8:00 am arrive at work
5:30 pm leave work have dinner with josh
6:30 pm start driving home
8:00 pm arrive home feed dogs and cat, look at them say I am sorry babies we will move soon
9:00 pm go to sleep then repeat process

I hope I can rent or sell my house soon. Other than the long hours everything is going well!

New Job

My first day was great! I am doing pretty much the same job for a different company in Montgomery. Today I start my ride-a-longs, I will go with a nurse and a social worker today. There is someone coming to look at the house this weekend :-D happy days!

The holidays were great for me. I got to spend just enough time with the family to appreciate them, but not enough time to get annoyed with them. I got some good gifts and ate some good food. I got to spend a lot of time with Josh (almost four whole days) over the New Year's weekend. Considering that we usually see each other from late Friday night to early Sunday afternoon, Friday – Monday was a welcome change.

Tomorrow will be the first Monday in 2 weeks of working. I am kind of excited about it, because the four day weeks have been killers. It seems that I never catch up from missing Monday. Don't get me wrong I love paid days off but goodness will I ever catch up.

This weekend Josh and I rented Hitch. It was nice to watch something that didn't have static. For those of you who don't know, I only have rabbit ears on my TV so my selection is limited to ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox, and GPB (PBS) oh and if the wind is blowing right UPN from Opelika. Anyways I think I would like to spend the $14.99 to get the all you can rent movies per month from Movie Gallery. I think I will start in the gallery section and rent all movies a-z.

I hope I can start to update more often now. I have a nice clean house and I will be at home next weekend as well. It is hard to stay focused and upbeat when my weekends are spent in a car. I hope everyone is doing well. Phone calls and visits are encouraged; I do miss my friends from the gump. Have a good week.

Yeah so it is Monday

Ok this weekend was great. I met Josh's whole family for Christmas, then his community Christmas party, then Chip, Leigh, Josh, and I went to the zoo to see the lights. Last week I never updated because I was baking 25 dozen gingerbread men. You see I have to do something nice for all the doctors who send us patients and I don't have a big budget. Also I would love to put some pics up from Miss Alabama Agriculture Pageant, but my camera broke and I can't connect it to my computer.
I am heading to work now. I will try my best to update later this week.

Still Alive

Ok ok, I know I am the world's worst about hassling people to update. I am still here, but I have been very very busy. I promise to update Sunday night

Thanksgiving recap

I went home Wednesday after work and ate dinner with my mom's mom and family. I planned on going to Dothan after dinner, but decided against that and went home. As it turns out, I left Phenix City without the keys to my parents house. I looked and looked for the hidden key, called my mom and everyone else at the dinner no answer from anyone! Got angry stomped yelled and went to my daddy's. I had a nice time, sometimes we don't have much to talk about but this was a good visit. Went to bed zipped up in a sleeping bag (his house stays cold!) Thursday I woke up at 6:30! Who wakes up that early when they have nothing to do. Mind you, if I have to be at work I will sleep until 7:45. Lunch was good at my grandpa's. Uncle Don wasn't there and that was strange but all in all it was good.
I decided to head back to PC Thursday night. I started straightening the house (I am cooking Saturday) and drinking wine. Before the night was over I was completely trashed with only a moderately clean house. I think the wine got stronger! Woke up this morning early and did some more cleaning then went grocery shopping.
I bought the smallest turkey I could find which was still 10lbs and other trimming items. Stay tuned for how my first thanksgiving goes.

Just curious

I ran across this list and I am just curious who else can identify with it. The items that pertain to me are bold.
You're an 80's kid if:
1. You ever ended a sentence w/ the word "SIKE"
2. You watched Pound Puppies
3. You can sing the rap to "Fresh Prince of Bel Air"
4. You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish.
5. You yearned to be a member of the babysitters club and tried to start One of your own.
6. You owned those lil Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.
7. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on "Blossom"
8. Two words: M.C.Hammer
9. If you ever watched Fraggle Rock
10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars.
11. You can sing the entire theme song to "DuckTales"
12. It was actually worth getting up on Sat morning to watch cartoons
13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head
14. You saw "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" on the big screen
15. You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class.
16. You had a clip that held your shirt in a knot at the side
17. You played the game MASH (Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House)
18. You wore a Jordache jean jacket and you were proud of it
19. L.A. Gear... need I say more
20. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in kindergarten
21. You remember all of the Ramona books
22. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF"
23. You wanted to be a Goonie
24. You ever wore fluorescent clothing (some head to toe)
25. You can remember what Michael Jackson REALLY looked like
26. You ever wondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf
27. You took lunch pals to school
28. You remember the CRAZE! , then the BANNING of slap bracelets
29. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after every sentence
30. Barbie and the Rockers were your fav band
31. You thought She-Ra and He-Man should hook up
32. You thought your childhood friends would never leave you b/c you
exchanged friendship bracelets
33. You ever owned a pair of jelly shoes (and probably in neon colors)
34. After Pee-Wee's Big Adventures you kept saying "I know you are but
what am I"
35. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"
36. You remember skating before inline skates
37. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip-n-slide
38. You had a Skip-it
39. You had or attended a b-day party at Mc Donald's
40. You've gone thru this nodding your head in agreement
41. "Don't worry, Be happy!!"
42. You wore like 8 pair of socks over tights w/high top Reeboks
43. You wore socks scrunched down
44. "Miss MARY MACK MACK MACK all dressed in BLACK BLACK BLACK"
45. Boom boxes vs. Cd players
46. Both Gremlin movies
47. "CARE BEAR STARE!!!"
48. You remember Rainbow Bright and My Lil PonyTales
49. You thought Doogie Howser was hot!
50. Alf, the furry brown alien from Melmac
51. New Kids on the Block when they were cool
52. Knew all the characters and there life stories on the ORIGINAL
Saved By the Bell
53. Know all the words to Bon Jovi- SHOT THRU THE HEART
54. You just sang it to yourself
55. You remember when Mullets were cool
56. You tight rolled your pants
57. You owned a banana clip!

I was a kid of the late 80's

It happened

Well some poor soul finally managed to get me in a "committed" relationship. Can you believe it! I stopped running, even refer to him as my "boyfriend." Big step for all who know me. Strangely I am very excited. Several things I am trying this time:
1. Don't over analyze
2. Don't anticipate the future
3. Do enjoy the moment
4. Don't be so critical
5. Do express my appreciation
I am sure there are many more things on my check list but for the moment those will do. Now, back to your regularly scheduled update.
Friday I actually came home at 1 and didn't work the rest of the day. This week has been extremely rough at work. Several things are going on and I spent the week reminding myself why I love what I do. Additionally, I knew I would be working on thanksgiving goody bags for hours over the course of the weekend, so my afternoon off is justified. I planned on grilling pork chops for dinner... but, remember a few months ago I left the grill on. Yeah so grilling didn't happen, instead I tried to cook the thick pork chops on a George Forman grill. That took forever. We ate then watched the Pacifier.
Saturday was uneventful. Played with he puppies outside for a while then Josh put my dining room table together, and we ate lunch. After lunch the Iron Bowl came on ugh that was terrible! Josh went home at half time to get ready for a mission trip. I spent the afternoon and night doing odd things around the house (never did vacuum though).
Sunday I slept late and almost talked myself out of going to church. About 10:30 I decided I should go and went to Ladonia Baptist Church. The message was good, but the people were not overly friendly to a visitor who what obviously there alone. Came home and started putting the goody bags together. Can you say 5 hours? The breakdown is as follows: 1 hour to cut out the cards and punch a hole in them, 30 mins to mix the ingredients, 2 hours to stuff 50 bags, 1.5 hours to tie the cute little ribbon on.
All in all the weekend was great now it is off to work for this very short week!

You people suck!

Trey and Charlie are the best! Everyone else sucks for not commenting.
Stuff is good right now, not great but good.

Doing well

I am doing surprisingly well being single. This weekend I stayed at home (leaving only to take my trash to the dump and pick up Wendy's) I did laundry *first time in over 3 weeks* turns out I have about 40 pairs of underwear, cleaned the master bathroom, unloaded the dishwasher, got addicted to facebook, watched football (ROLL TIDE), and walked for 30 mins.
I have however decided I need a roommate preferably someone with a green thumb, my yard is a death trap with me taking care of it. Still haven't decided if I am going to the gump t/m I need to finish my work b4 Monday.
Someone leave me a comment (I ain't to proud to beg) I feel neglected!

So i have a good life

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	7.7
Mind:	6.7
Body:	7.3
Spirit:	8.3
Friends/Family:	5.6
Love:	2.9
Finance:	8.9
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